I went into the fields. The night before gave me three hours of neurotic sleep. Waking up to a swarm in my head. I gave the morning a six am stretch to the sun and 10 mg of melatonin. To keep my brain engaged in the conversation with the neurotics that kept me up; chattering the night before.
I walked along a row of corn plants and was walking uphill, to the right the whole time. Going in circles, but it was different. I could have sworn I got that tassel when I walked by it five minutes ago. I swore I got that tassel.
It was an illusion from the melatonin and 118 heat index. And also, a parallel of the paradoxical paradigm that I'm waking up to in a cold sweat.
Our words and worries have been passed back and forth through our mirrors since I've met you. Playing ping-pong with the light and darkness. Never again I say. Never again you say. I'm not that. You're not that. We insist we're not making the same mistake twice. We insist that we are not that mistake. You must be crazy. Oh god I think I'm crazy. Either one of us is an extraordinary dick-head, or the dark corners of our minds drew guns on eachother. At the same time. Sleeping... Jinx!
There is no protocol for this. The rules are not elusive because they are foreign to me. They are elusive because they are non-existent. The space between us has a mind of it's own. And I curse myself because that's the place I want to electrify and animate. Desperately.
We can concentrate the eye of the storm into a four inch space between our own eyes. I know it because that's what kept us in orbit. And it has been 902 miles minus four inches too wide.
Sometimes though, and brief moments I know, I feel like I caught a glimpse from your fickle eyes... floating in the ether.